Trapped! Take III: Lord of the Rings Edition
by The Marauders
Summary: In the minds of the mad authors, getting away from their appaulingly boring French class is just a notebook away. . . and in this case, they find their escape in Middle Earth. 'DRAMATIC' CONCLUSION UP! By Moony & Co.
1. Furry Feet

Trapped! Take III  
By Moony AKA Ruby Cotton, Louis AKA Fosco Brockhouse, and Natalie AKA Lily Brockhouse.  
  
Note: Whenever Louis, Natalie, and myself (AKA Fosco, Lily, and Ruby) feel the need to escape from our dreadful Sciences Humaines class, I'd always whip out my writing journal and start an adventure. The lovers and I have been to Hogwarts and Yavin, but this was the only one that seemed good enough to post.  
So, I bring you. . . Trapped! Take III! Lord of the Rings Edition!  
  
CHAPTER I  
  
Once upon a time, there were four bored kids. They were named Ruby Cotton, Fosco Brockhouse, Lily Brockhouse, and Ben Gaynus. I mean, Magnus.  
. . .   
Actually, there were only three kids, because Ben sucks and he is now removed from the story.  
  
Now, these three kids were cursed. No matter what happened, it seemed that they were always forced to sit through excrutiatingly boring classes. With the end of the semester, they had been liberated from Lipinski and Sciences Humaines only to find themselves trapped (yet again) in the dreaded class of Francais Langue 10 with Madame Rutherford. Only young Ruby had the power to save them. . .   
  
"Where are we, this time?" Asked Fosco, who'd had trouble with their last escape into Hogwarts. He glanced around nervously, taking in the rustic, cozy countrside. Ruby came up, wearing trousers and a vest. Fosco's eyes widened as he noticed her exceptionally large, bar feet, then glanced down to his own hairy wonders.  
"We're Hobbits!!" Lily exclaimed in delight.  
"Ewwwww!!" Look at my feet! They have pubic hair on them!" Fosco cried.  
"Quit whining! You're a Hobbit! Fortunately, Lily and I are girls, so we shave our feet. . . " Ruby grinned, turning to stroll down the street towards a large hill with an oak tree on its peak. Fosco glared as he followed her, but Lily was still curious.  
"Where are we?"  
"The Shire."  
"I figured that! Where in the Shire?"  
". . ."  
". . . ?"  
"Hobbiton."  
"Oh, of course. How silly of me. And that's Bag End?"  
Ruby didn't answer, but started walking a bit faster. "Do try and hurry, Gandalf has just told Frodo to leave. We have to catch up to them!" 


	2. Hot on the Scent!

Trapped! Take III  
By Ruby, Fosco, and Lily.  
  
Note: You may notice that the chapters are extremely short. This is due to the fact that each chapter is written by someone new: Either Ruby, Fosco, or Lily. The first chapter was done by Ruby, but this one is by Lily.  
(Fortunately, Ruby is typing all these up, so she can correct any spelling mistakes that Lily and Fosco may have made.)  
  
Enjoy!  
  
CHAPTER II  
  
They hurried to Bag End. Ruby went to the garden and sniffed the air.  
"Sam. . . he was here. . . " she said, still sniffing. "He left here 30 minutes ago. His scent is still strong! Follow me!"  
She grabbed her walking stick and followed her nose out of the shire. As they were walking along, Ruby with her nose in the air, couldn't see the big stump in front of her. Fosco and Lily were too busy to notice as Ruby tumbled down a huge rocky hill. Lily and Fosco just kept walking until they heard Ruby yelling in joy. They hurried down and found Ruby laying on top of Sam Gamgee. The other Hobbits, Pippin, Merry, and Frodo had also been crushed by Ruby's fall. 


	3. The Avalanche suck, Oilers rock. . . So ...

Trapped! Take III  
  
By Ruby Cotton, Fosco Brockhouse, and Lily Brockhouse.  
  
Note: This chapter's done by Ruby. And there was much rejoicing. YAY!  
  
  
CHAPTER III  
  
"I found Sam!" She cried in delight.   
"That you did," Sam huffed nervously, struggling to get to his feet. "But why were you looking for me?" Lily and Fosco ran up to them and helped them up.  
"Sorry 'bout her." Lily said, gesturing to Ruby as she stood up.  
"We're here to help you." Ruby explained.  
"With what?" Frodo asked suspiciously.  
"Why, with the ring." Fosco said, as Merry and Pippin cowered before him. Fosco was a whopping 4'5", extremely tall for a Hobbit.   
"How did you. . . " Frodo began, but he was interrupted by a loud, piercing scream that echoed around them.  
"It's Kyle!" Fosco exclaimed.  
"No, it's a Ring wraith!" Merry cried.  
"Wait, no, it's Ben Gaynus. The Colorado Avalanche just lost to the Oilers." Lily stated. And, indeed, she was right. So let's all point at Ben and laugh. . . done? Good. Let's continue, then.  
  
Has anyone else noticed how incredibly short these stories are? 


	4. Why It's Not Good to Laugh

Trapped! Take III  
  
By Ruby Cotton, Fosco Brockhouse, and Lily Brockhouse  
  
AN: Yes! It's the very first. . . FOSCO chapter! YAY!  
  
  
CHAPTER IV  
  
  
Everyone began to laugh at Ben. His eyes began to water.  
"It's not my fault! It was a. . . mistake! Not again!"  
The roars of laughter grew louder. Ben began bawling like a little school girl.  
"I don't have to take this!" He yelled, "Next time!! Next time they'll win! I'm allowed to dream! WAAAAAHHHH!!!!"  
As everyone was distracted by their rolling on the floor, laughing, Ben ran at Frodo and tried to knock him over. Instead, he fell as if he had run into a brick wall. He flipped out and grabbed the ring from Frodo's neck, and took off up the hill. Everyone stopped laughing as Ruby yelled "STOP HIM!" They ran after Ben up the hill. Fosco looked as though he was trying to hold something in. He laughed as he yelled "Colorado sucks!" Everyone burst out laughing again, and they rolled all the way back down the hill. Ruby somehow ended up on top of Sam again.  
  
Gawd, I suddenly remembered why Lily and I rarely let Fosco write. ^_^ 


	5. Hobbit Things

Trapped! Take III  
  
By Ruby Cotton, Fosco Brockhouse, and Lily Brockhouse  
  
AN: And Lily graces us, yet again, with her writing talent. *tries not to laugh*  
  
  
  
CHAPTER V  
  
This time Sam was better prepared for Ruby's advances at kept rolling for no reason. He rolled so far that somehow he rolled down another hill.  
Ruby yelled out in despair "Sam! Nooo!! Come back! I promise to moleste you no further!" as she ran down the hill.  
The others yelled after them but after 5 minutes they just decided to have tea. Tea then went into supper until finally Sam and Ruby came up looking flustered. Ruby had a huge grin on her face, while Sam just blushed.  
"So what kind of *Hobbit* things were you two up to?" Said Lily, who already knew, since Ruby's expression didn't hide anything. That only made Sam blush more and Ruby grin even more.  
  
  
How embarassing. . . -_-;; 


	6. Furry Foot Fetish

Trapped! Take III  
  
By Ruby Cotton, Fosco Brockhouse, and Lily Brockhouse  
  
AN: Me, Ruby, again!   
  
  
  
CHAPTER VI  
  
  
They continued along, with Merry and Pippin questionning Sam mercilessly. Finally, he broke down.  
"All right! ALL RIGHT!" He shouted, stopping in his tracks. "If you leave me alone, I'll tell you!" He looked down, bashfully. "We were. . . painting our toe nails." he said, his face red. The party joined him in his halt, exchanging glances.  
"Of course we were painting our toe nails! What else would we be doing??" Ruby asked, gesturing to her blue toes. "What did you THINK we were doing??" She asked, mumbling something about "perverted Hobbits."  
"Yours are yellow." Lily pointed to Sam, who just blushed and turned away. Lily rolled her eyes and mimicking Ruby my mumbling something about "Furry Foot Fetish."  
They took that moment to rest, and Sam eagerly pulled out his cooking supples, while Merry provided the mushrooms, sausages, and tomatoes.  
"Food!" Fosco and Lily cried in delight.  
  
Furry foot fetish. . . *whistles innocently* 


	7. When In Doubt, Follow Your Nose

Trapped! Take III  
  
By Ruby Cotton, Fosco Brockhouse, and Lily Brockhouse  
  
AN: Lovely Lady Lily likes to write about little lollies. Also, we like to make fun of the real Ben because he is SO christian. We're not insulting Christians or anything (Fosco's catholic and Natalie's christian), but Ben's going to be a priest when he grows up, he's so devout. So we don't mean anyone to take offense if we make fun of Ben for being that way. We only mean it out of good fun.  
  
  
CHAPTER VII  
  
So they ate their last meal of the day before heading off to look for a place to sleep in the night. They grabbed their sausages and tomatoes, oh and Merry took his mushrooms, and marched on through the woods.  
"Wait! Didn't Gaynus take my sausage. . . I mean, ring, a while back?" Frodo sudddenly said.   
"I'll find him!" Said Ruby, sticking her nose in the air. "I need a Bible! Give me a Bible!" So Fosco grabbed his pocket Bible and gave it to Ruby. She sniffed it.  
"I have his scent! Follow me!"  
They followed Ruby up hills, across rivers, through forests and through towns, skipping many meals and nights before coming to a small village. Ruby lead them to a huge rock. She sniffed around it until she found a cross-shaped marking. She pressed it and a huge Catholic cathedral appeared out of the ground.  
"Figures. . ." Mumbled Lily. 


	8. So Ruby Really IS The Anti-Christ!

Trapped! Take III  
  
By Ruby Cotton, Fosco Brockhouse, and Lily Brockhouse  
  
AN: Ruby the Great! Muha!!!  
  
  
CHAPTER VIII  
  
They slowly entered the cathedral, waiting patiently as Fosco washed his hands in the holy water. Ruby accidentally touched the rim of the tub, causing her to burn.  
"Gah!" She said, cradling her fingers. The others ignored her as they moved towards the altar. Ruby winced as she followed behind the others, trying to ignore the monotonous organ music in the background.  
"Where's Gaynus?" She hissed, coming up behind Merry and Pippin.  
"Don't know." Merry replied, peering around the cavernous room.  
"I'm hungry." Pippin whined.   
"Forget hungry! I'm thirsty!" Merry added.  
"Well, there's the answer to both our problems! Wine! Bread!" Pippin cried, as he and his cousin ran forward, arms oustretched for the goblet and plate.  
Ruby noticed someting wasn't right, but before she could warn them, a large cage fell from the ceiling, imprisoning the hungry/thirsty Hobbits.  
"Merry! Pippin!" Frodo exclaimed, rushing towards them. He grasped the bars and struggled to break them.  
"Get back, Mister Frodo!" Sam ran up behind him, and pulled him back as Magnus jumped down from atop Merry and Pippin's prison.  
"Magnus." Ruby said, her eyes narrowed.  
"Give us Merry and Pippin!!" Lily demanded.  
"And the Ring!" Added Fosco.  
  
DUH DUH DUH. . . 


	9. BAAAAD Innuendo: Blame Fosco

Trapped! Take III  
  
By Ruby Cotton, Fosco Brockhouse, and Lily Brockhouse  
  
Note: Fosco finally writes some more. . .   
  
  
CHAPTER IX  
  
"Hoho! Look who's sad NOW!! Suddenly the Oilers don't seem so important, now do they? Hahahahaha. . . HAHAHAhAA. . . MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!"  
Lily stepped forward. "What do you want from us?!?!" She asked coldly.   
"I want you. . . TO SAY THE AVALANCHE RULE!!!! MWAHAHAHA!!!"   
The Hobbits all gasped. Magnus suddenly looked as if he had noticed something. "Hey. . . where's Ruby?" he asked.  
"BAAAAH!!!" Ruby screamed as she jumped at Magnus from behind. Magnus let out a high-pitched scream as Ruby grabbed ahold of his foot-pubic fur.  
"Give us what we want!" Ruby demanded.  
"Noooo! You give ME what I want!"   
Ruby pinned Magnus to the floor and yelled "Sam! Give me your pants! I need to strangle him with something!" Sam looked puzzled. "JUST DO IT!!!" Ruby screamed. Sam did as she said. Ruby's attention suddenly shifted from Gaynus to sam. She leaped off of Gaynus, and ran at full charge towards Sam. "I must paint your toenails again!" She yelled.  
  
. . . 


	10. DHLF: Drunk Hobbit Liberation Front

Trapped! Take III  
  
By Ruby Cotton, Fosco Brockhouse, and Lily Brockhouse  
  
Note: Ruby again, back to fix Fosco's perversion.  
  
  
CHAPTER X  
  
"Ruby!" Lily shouted. "You can do Hobbit things with Sam later! Gaynus is getting away!"  
Lily desperately made a grab for the villain, but he was quicker. He fled, somehow taking Merry + Pip along with him..  
"Dammit!" Ruby said, reluctantly letting go of Sam's foot. "He stole your pants, too." She told Sam.  
"Wait, no, they're right here." Fosco said, holding up Sam's pants.  
"God, he can't do ANYTHING right!!!" Ruby wailed in despair as Sam put his pants on.  
"What's over there?" Sam asked, nodding in the direction of the altar. Frodo went to investigate.  
"It's. . . it's the ring!"  
"You're JOKING!" Lily ran to inspect the small golden thing in Frodo's hands. Frodo was NOT joking. Gaynus was so stupid, he'd left the ring there.  
"Well, that's great, then!" Fosco beamed, "Screw Gaynus! Let's continue on our quest!"  
"Wait a minute!" Ruby dismissed his comment with a wave of her hand. "He still has the drunk guys."  
"Oh, yeah. . . well, I'll NEVER say the stupid Avalanche rock! Oilers all the way!!"  
"Fosco!!" Ruby frowned at her tall companion.   
"We can't just leave Merry and Pip!" Frodo said despairingly.  
"He might. . . " Ruby hesitated, not wanting to seal her friends' fate. ". . . baptize them, or something. . . "  
"Gasp!" Sam gasped. "He wouldn't!"  
"He WOULD!"  
"So what do we do?" Lily asked, rubbing her forehead.   
"That's easy, we bust 'em out." Ruby explained.  
  
  
How will our noble heroes save their hungry friends? And WILL Ben baptize them? And DO the Oilers REALLY rock? Wait, scratch that last one out -- they do.   
Also: We've said it before, and we'll say it again. We don't mean to offend anyone with the religious teasing in this story. WE don't actually mean it, we're just poking fun. 


	11. Lily Whines

Trapped! Take III  
  
By Ruby Cotton, Fosco Brockhouse, and Lily Brockhouse  
  
Note: Lily's writing. So. . . meh.  
  
  
CHAPTER XI  
  
"Do we REALLY have to?" Whinned Lily.   
"Yes! We have to! What would we do without them?" Cried Ruby.  
"Not get killed. . . or maybe finish our mission." Mumbled Lily.  
"Let's go!" said Ruby, ignoring Lily.  
"I mean, so what if they get baptized? I got baptized! It's not that horrible. You get food and wine out of it. Blah. Mumbles." mumbled Lily.  
And so they continued on their quest to destroy the ring and, now, to save Pippin and Merry. Ruby used her powers of scent to follow Gaynus's trail. They passed a town just a mile from the cathedral and Ruby soon found herself alone.  
"Guys? Sam? Frodo? Fosco? Lily? . . . . Gaynus?" She found no one, so she followed her nose back to the tiny town. There she was lead to a tiny tavern which contained her tiny fellowship surrounded by huge amounts of food.  
"THERE you are! What are you doing? We NEED to find Pippin and Merry! Let's go!" She cried.  
"Wfew humgemph!" was the sound coming from Fosco. He tried again. "We were hungry!! We haven't eaten in days! Give us a break!"  
Suddenly the room shook violently. Everyone turned to Ruby.  
"Uhhh. . . sorry. I guess my nose power overtook all my hungry powers, so I didn't realize how hungry I was." (Lily logic) She stopped since she realized that nobody was paying attention to her anyway. After they were fed and watered they headed back on the trail of Magnus. They walked for a day when suddenly Ruby stopped.  
"Dare I say it. . . Gaynus's scent. . . it seems to be getting. . . more evil as we go. How is that possible??" Ruby asked, puzzled.  
  
  
DOO DOO DOO. . . the plot thickens! Yes, apparently, there's a plot! Anyways, that's all I'm typing up for tonight (I started at IX) because I'm listening to my Labyrinth Soundtrack and should probably try and write some Slayers Labyrinth up. 


	12. Stick and Mesh To Do A Long Jump. . .

Trapped! Take III  
  
By Ruby Cotton, Fosco Brockhouse, and Lily Brockhouse  
  
Note: Fosco writes.  
  
  
CHAPTER XII  
  
The fellowship didn't seem to care much. Ruby talked so much that they only cared. . . never. They decided to just keep following Ruby's nose anyway on their smobled quest.  
  
Editor's note: What the HELL does "smobled" mean?!  
  
"What kind of dork forgets the ransom that he's holding when he runs away?" Wondered Frodo.  
"Yeah," Lily agreed, "What a dipcake!"  
Fosco joined in with "I mean come ON! How dumb do you have to be?! He couldn't throw a grape in the ocean!"  
Then it was Ruby's turn: "Yeah! He'd need a stick and some mesh to do a long jump!" Everyone stared at Ruby as she rolled on the floor laughing.  
"Lily, you wouldn't happen to be able to catch scents like she can, can you?" Fosco asked.  
"Sadly, no." Lily sighed. 45 minutes later, after Ruby was done laughing, they went on the trail again.   
"Uh-oh." Ruby said, "I'm losing his scent! We have to hurry before he gets too far!" The fellowship picked up the pace and moved on. 


	13. Amphibians and Buffy the Vampire Slayer ...

Trapped! Take III  
  
By Ruby Cotton, Fosco Brockhouse, and Lily Brockhouse  
  
Note: Ruby chapter.  
  
  
CHAPTER XIII  
  
It was then that Ruby decided to turn Lily and Fosco into frogs.  
"Ribbit!" Lily ribbited, which obviously meant "Why did you turn us into frogs?"  
"Because," Ruby explained, "You're being very disrespectful."  
"Croak!" Fosco croaked, which probably translated into "HOW did you turn us into frogs?"  
Ruby didn't answer as she was too busy sniffing the air. She frowned.  
"This is it. This is where thr trail ends." She whispered. Suddenly, a low cackle could be heard. In the treep tops, a dark figure appeared, pouncing upon them.   
"Muah!" Gaynus shouted defiantly.  
"Ribbit!" Was Lily's retort.  
"Zubba?"  
"Croak!"  
"Ifnar?"  
"Odorf Sniggab!"  
"REGDOD!"  
"Uhh. . . okay. . . " Frodo scratched his head.  
"Ruby, turn Lily and Fosco back!" Sam cried, trying to protect the amphibians from Ben Gaynus's murderous wrath.  
"I'm trying!" said Ruby. Her eyes widened as she sniffed the air. "You smell. . ." She glared at Ben, her eyes narrow slits. "Evil." She finished. Ben grinned, baring his sharp teeth.  
"You know why? For I am NOT Ben Gaynus, devout christian. . . but Ishtar, a reject demon from Buffy the Vampire Slayer!!!" He cakled as he threw off his robes, revealing his demon apparel.  
"What the FU--" Sam cried.  
"Croak!" Fosco agreed.  
"Okay, who saw that coming?" Ruby asked, raising her hand. As she did so, Lily and Fosco returned to their original form. "Oh." Ruby blinked. "That was easy."  
"EXCUSE ME!" Gaynus. . . I mean, Ishtar cried. "Pay attention to the villain, please!"  
  
  
. . . 


	14. Sub-Hell: So THAT'S what happened to T...

Trapped! Take III  
  
By Ruby Cotton, Fosco Brockhouse, and Lily Brockhouse  
  
Note: A hasty chapter written by Lily  
  
  
CHAPTER XIV  
  
"Hey! I'm back to normal! OK, let's get Merry and Pippin then get out of here." Cried Lily.  
"Give me back my friends, you evil demon!" Yelled Frodo.  
"All they ever wanted was to get tanked." Sniffed Ruby, with tears in her eyes.  
"Now, then." Ishtar said. He snapped his fingers and suddenly, the ground started shking.  
"Ruby! Tell me that's your stomach!" Yelled Lily.  
"Uhhh. . . I'm afraid not." Said Ruby with sweatdrops forming on her face. The ground shook even more violently and started opening up. Frodo was swalloed up by the ground.  
"Run!" Someone screamed. One by one they got swallowed up by the while Ishtar laughed evilly.  
"We will defeat you!" Fosco yelled before he was swallowed up.  
"The world is MINE!" was the last thing any of them heard when they were falling. Fosco fell into a huge red pook. He saw the rest of the fellowship already sitting or laying on the beach-looking thing. He swam out onto the beach. As he stood up he saw he was covered in the sticky red stuff.  
"Yuck! What is this?!"  
"No idea!" Ruby said.  
"Ha ha ha!" A huge voice boomed.  
"What the--"  
"It is I! The great Gaynus! Not mean Ishtar! Do you like your eternal prison? The sea is made of the bodies of all the souls here before you. Kinda like a Sub-Hell if you will. Since Master won't let me kill you, I have you keep you here. The only way out is to climb up the way you came, but the thing is. . . you have to climb up on the Sea of the Sharpest Swords in the World! Muahahaha! MUAH!!!! MUAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA-- *cough* *wheeze* *cough* Ach. Sorry. Furball. Well, as I was saying, you're stuck. Can't get out. I will nuke the world and soon I will turn you all into my slaves! Muahahaha! Ok, well, I have to go serve Master. I'll be back!" he started ot leave then Frodo yelled.  
"But you can't leave us here! We will die! And where are Merry and Pippin?!"  
"Oh, FINE! Poof!" Merry and Pippin appeared unharmed and tanked. Mountains of food appeared far off in the deep cavern. "Have fun trying to reach it! It keeps getting farther and farther away as you walk closer. Oh, and since I need you alive, a minute before you start dying of hunger food will appear before you! Have fun! MUahaha!"  
  
  
  
. . . 


	15. Massive WHAT?!

Trapped! Take III  
  
By Ruby Cotton, Fosco Brockhouse, and Lily Brockhouse  
  
Note: Ruby-Ruby-Ruby Cotton! La la la la la. . . hey, someone read Ruby Cotton of Overhill. I mean it! *grrrrrrrrr*  
  
CHAPTER XV: Massive what?!  
  
"Gosh, I hope the readers don't get offended by this sacriligious story. Oh, well. Frodo, use your ring and get us outta here." Rubby said, gesturing to Frodo's neck. The young Hobbit nodded and groped for his ring, but a horrified expression appeared on his face.  
"Oh, shi--"  
  
~~  
  
Meanwhile, back at the ranch. . .   
  
"Mwaahahahahahaha! The world will be MNE!!!" Ishtar cried triumphantly. "I will force the people to succumb to my massive - Heeeeeeyyy. . . what's this?" He beant down and picked up the shiny object which had caught his eye.  
"Pretty!"  
He glanced around to make sure no one was watching, before slipping the golden treasure onto his finger.  
"Tee hee!"  
  
Meanwhile, back at the OTHER ranch. . .   
  
"You LOST it?!" Ruby shouted, leaping on Frodo and proceeding to beat him up.  
"Ruby! Ruby! Please, stop hurting Mister Frodo!" Sam cried, struggling to be heard above her furious rants. He ran up and grabbed Ruby's arms, forcing her to stay still. "Save some for the rest of us!" He finished, then, attacking Frodo, knocking him out.  
"Sam!" Ruby grabbed Sam and pulled him over to Merry. "We must all calm down and try to think oiur way out of this." She said, sitting down beside Fosco and Lily.  
"Ruby's right." Lily admitted.   
"But what can we do?? And where's Pippin? Merry asked, looking about him. His drunken stupor had worn off, and he was now reasonably alert. The others joined him in his search until Fosco noticed that Pip was desperately trying to get to the food, which just kept moving farther away. Ruby ran over and got him, dragging him back to the others.  
"How can we get out of here?" F rodo asked, after waking up.  
  
  
Most of you will be very happy to learn that this is almost over. Just a few more chapters left! And there was much rejoicing. YAY! 


	16. Patrick Roy the Shnooky-Wookie. I mean,...

Trapped! Take III  
  
By Ruby Cotton, Fosco Brockhouse, and Lily Brockhouse  
  
Note: Fosco Brockhouse of . . . Brockhouse  
  
CHAPTER XVI: Patrick Roy The Shnooky-Wookie. I mean, Wooky.  
  
"What do we do?!" Lily worried. Everyone stared at everyone else, looking for a solution. For about 15 minutes, no one said anything. They just stared at the food. Lily suddenly broke the silence.  
"Wait. . ." She said, "Fosco, do you have your special magic fanny pack with you? Please say 'yes'!"  
"I certainly do!" Fosco replied as he patted his special magic fanny pack.   
"Good good!" Lily said as her eyes lit up, "I have a plan!" Everyone lookat her with curiosity.   
"Ishtar!!!" She screamed, "Patrick Roy is here, and he says he's 'feeling lonely'!"  
  
Author's note: F.Y.I. Patrick Roy is an Avalanche Goalie  
  
Editor's note: Good thing he pointed it out, cus I thought it was a Star Trek engineer.  
  
Almost instantly, Ishtar appeared as he tried to catch his breath. He was dressed in some kind of demon lingerie.  
"Sorry I'm late!" He breathed, "Where's my Shnooky-wooky?"  
"Quick, Fosco!" Lily yelled, "Take your spare Oilers jersey out of your special magic fanny pack!" Without delay, Fosco whipped out the jersey. It seemed to have a mysterious glow. Ishtar let out a loud sream as the sigh of the Oiler jersey made him burn.  
"Ahhh!" He yelled in pain as he was surrounded by a blue and copper electric shock.  
  
Lily's note: It's not copper, it's BROWN.  
  
Author & Editor: SHUT UP!  
  
"The fact that he's in ligerie makes this disturbing," Said Ruby, "Couldn't you have lured him here some other way?"  
"All RIGHT!" Screamed Ishtar in pain, "I'll let you out if you put that bloody thing away!"  
  
  
  
~DUH DUH DUH~ Tune in next week for. . . The Legend of the Special Magic Fanny Pack!  
  
Editor's Note: Sorry for all the pointless Editor/Author notes. And I offer my undenying love to apologize for the EXTREMELY pointless Lily note. 


	17. Special Magic Fanny Pack

Trapped! Take III  
  
By Ruby Cotton, Fosco Brockhouse, and Lily Brockhouse  
  
Note: James 3:16. I mean, Ruby. Ruby.  
  
CHAPTER XVII: The Special Magic Fanny Pack  
  
  
We now interrupt "Trapped! Take III" to bring you. . .   
  
THE LEGEND OF THE SPECIAL MAGIC FANNY PACK!  
  
  
And God said "Let there be a Special Magic Fanny Pack, and may three hockey players grace the front. Not one, not two, but three." And God said it, and so it was done. Then the Lord took the Special Magic Fanny Pack and said to his servant: "And let one worthy of its power be its bearer, and let his love be gentle and his power fearsome for all to behold."  
And the Lord's servant set out on a great quest to find one worthy of the special magic fanny pack. First, it came to the one Joel, and the servant asked of him but one question.  
"Which hockey team is the best?"   
And Joel answered "The Canucks", and the angel despaired.  
Then, it found Ben, and the angel asked "Which hockey team is the best?"  
And Ben said "Avalanche", and the angel despaired, and its sorrow was great, for it knew that it had found the servant of Ishtar. Fleeing from its foe, the angel met Ruby. And it asked.  
"Which hocky team is the best?"  
And Ruby said "The Oilers." and the Angel rejoiced. Young Ruby received the Special Magic Fanny Pack from the Lord, and all was well.   
And then Ruby met Fosco, and his Oilers knowledge was great, and she recognized him as the savior of the Lord. And she bestowed the Special Magic Fanny Pack upon him, and the angels sang and the beasts rejoiced in his greatness.  
  
  
THE PREVIOUS WAS EXCERPT FROM "THE HOCKY BIBLE", A FICTIONAL WORK MADE FOR THE CREATIVE USES OF RUBY COTTON OF OVERHILL.  
  
~~~  
  
Author's note: You know, what really happened was Lily was over, and I found the Special Magic Fanny Pack with Hocky players on it, and I asked her if Fosco would like it, and she said "I dunno, maybe." And then Fosco LOVED it. ((o-o)) 


	18. Fighting Evil By Moonlight. . .

Trapped! Take III  
  
By Ruby Cotton, Fosco Brockhouse, and Lily Brockhouse  
  
Note: Lily writes again! BOOO!!! Just kidding. . .   
  
CHAPTER XVIII: Fighting evil by moonlight. . .   
  
  
Now back to our feature program. . .   
  
"Never! Die Demon! Die!" yelled Fosco.  
"Cocoa, that's enough! Put that jersey away for now." Whispered Lily.   
"COCOA?!?!" Ruby snorted before bursting into hysterical laughter. Sooon, after everyone was laying on the floor holding their stomachs and bursting with tears of laughter, Fosco just stood, embarrassed. They could hear even Ishtar's roar of laughter.   
"By the power of the Ring, I bind you for all eternity into the darkest recesses of the universe!"   
  
Editor's Note: Errr. . . Lily, who said that?!  
  
A light of the purest white shot out from a girl dressed in a funky looking blue japanese school girl uniform.  
  
Editor's Note: Ooohhhh. . .   
  
"Lily?" Whispered Fosco. A girl dressed similar to Lily, walked up beside her with Fosco's fanny pack and cried: "By the power of the Oil Kings, I send you off to repent for your deeds!"  
Everyone was stunned when they realised that it was Ruby who'd said the last phrase.   
"By the power of Radioactivity, we BIND YOU!!!" The two Sailor Senshi said together.  
"Radioactivity? Huh?" Merry Said.  
"We are Sailor Uranium and Sailor Neptunium! In the name of the elements we cast you off!" The two girls finished off their speech and with a huge bang and a piercing scream, Ishtar disappeared.  
"Okay, huh. . . explanation, please?" said Fosco.  
"Well. . . hmmm. .. I'm Sailor Neptunium, and Ruby is Sailor Uranium. It kinda happened in a science experiment. Our powers only come out when we are about to be destroyed." said Lily.  
"Didn't you see that Ishtar had the ring? It was around his neck." Said Ruby.  
"You people." Lily snickered, "Well, while Fosco distracted everyone, I stole the ring, then transformed and started to bind him. Ruby took the fanny pack and helped me finish him off."   
"We got rid of the bad guy, now how do we get out of this dumb cavern?" Fosco asked.  
"Screw getting out! I want to know how to get to the food!" Said Ruby with drool trickly down her chin.  
  
Editor's Note: Umm. . . at the time that we wrote this part, Lily and I were working on an assignment for science where we had to be Elemental Super Heroes. So, 'course, Lily and I being the Sailor Moon fans, we chose Neptunium, Uranium, and Plutonium for our super heroes while I drew the pictures. I was Uranium, Lily was Neptunium, and as for Plutonium. . . *holds up a picture of Ben wearing a Sailor outfit* I'm completely serious. . . the entire time I was drawing the picture, he kept saying he was stronger than me since Plutonium decays into Uranium, and he just didn't seem to realize that I was controlling the visual part of our story. . . 


	19. The End

Trapped! Take III  
  
By Ruby Cotton, Fosco Brockhouse, and Lily Brockhouse  
  
Note: Fosco writes.   
  
CHAPTER XIX: The End  
  
"Don't be stupid." said Lily, "We can eat when we get out."  
Fosco looked as though he was pondering a plan.  
"Ruby," He said, "Think you could use the Special Magic Fanny Pack to bring the food here?" Ruby's eyes lit up as she used the Special Magic Power of the Special Magic Fanny Pack to bring the food to them. Everyone instantly began to feast.  
"Arfphmunglorph!" Ruby said with a full mouth. Everyone gleefully agreed. They just kept eating and eating until they became so fat that they began to float up and out of the cave, like in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!  
  
~~  
  
And since that was SO incredibly short, we'll just combine it with the next chapter, which is by Ruby.  
  
  
~~  
  
Well, since this story no longer makes any sense, it seems that it must be brought to an end. . .   
  
Gaynus and the Avalanche ended up stranded on a desert island until the end of their days. The fellowship continued on Bree, where they met Strider and continued their journey. Ruby, Fosco, and Lily returned to their boring school, where they discovered that they'd missed several days of french and are currently catching up, even to this day.  
  
The whereabouts of the Special Magic Fanny Pack are unknown.  
  
  
THE END. . . (?)  
  
  
Well, that's it. It's taken a while, but we actually finished a Trapped. We encourage you to read Trapped Take I, II, and IV, as they are all being worked on at this moment. See you!  
  
With all due respect,  
Shannon, Louis, and Natalie. 


End file.
